The Cost of Keeping the Peace: Choosing God’s Approval Over Human Praise
Stop trading your peace and authenticity for the approval of others. This faith-based reflection offers encouragement and practical journal prompts to help you stand firm in your true identity in Christ.
Michele Wanamaker
7/19/20264 min read
“FOR THEY LOVED HUMAN PRAISE MORE THAN THE PRAISE OF GOD" -John 12:43
Setting the phone down, my mind was confused. There was no mistaking the hurtful jabs and deflection coming through the screen. My heart was breaking into a million little pieces.
Have you ever found yourself in a relationship with a friend, family member, or coworker where you simply could not be yourself? Where no matter what you do or who you know yourself to be, you just cannot be that around them?
The Exhaustion of Keeping the Peace
Ten years ago, who I was was someone who would always agree and keep the peace at all costs. A close friend once introduced me by saying, “Michele always goes with the flow.”
I was proud of that. Being the person who others knew was easygoing. Someone who was not demanding, hard to be around, or picky.
Today, I know myself better. Today, I know who I am as a child of God.
The woman she described me as was one who chose to stay small so she wouldn’t rock the boat. Who chose to make things easy for people in her company. The one who chose to deny herself for the approval of those around her.
The pressure to conform, to keep the peace, and to maintain a mask just to feel safe or loved by someone we care about can be an exhausting battle. Trying to fight it on our own only leads to defeat, but we do not have to carry this weight by ourselves.
Standing in Your Authentic Identity
In John 12:44, “Jesus shouted to the crowds, “If you trust me, you are trusting not only me, but also God who sent me.”
Letting go of the constant pressure for gaining approval of others in place of standing with Jesus as your authentic self takes bravery and courage. As soon as you allow yourself to be who the Lord uniquely created you to be, you can walk freely and find peace and joy in the abundance of His goodness.
Maybe that means you have to put some distance between you and the other person. It might mean you have to choose to be misunderstood by them.
When we seek the praise of others, especially those who are not in Christ, we separate ourselves from our true purpose. God calls us to be His light. To walk in confidence authentically as who He created in His image. This does not mean we put ourselves above another. But it is important not to allow others to put out our light in order to gain their approval.
Knowing Who You Are in Christ
The Lord's approval over the approval of man must be our compass. We have been saved by the blood of Christ, and though we do not need to earn God's favor, we do need to live our lives true to who He made us uniquely to be.
Knowing who God made us to be requires us to truly know ourselves.
How can we do that?
Listen to Your Inner Compass: Notice the unique passions and burdens God has placed in your heart, as these inward drivers often point toward your calling and the truth of who you are.
Review Your Story: Look back honestly at your past seasons—both trials and victories—to see how God has shaped your character and empathy.
Spend Time in Quiet Reflection: Stepping away from daily distractions allows space for prayer and Scripture to gently align your heart with His design.
Make a List of Likes and Dislikes: This will allow you to know in advance what you will or will not accept when faced with having to choose.
Taking these steps will help you the next time you are faced with someone who is questioning your truth—whether in person, behind your back, or through a text message—so you will not be confused and can stand firm in knowing who you are.
Want to dig deeper into how fear shows up in our daily choices? Take a look at Excuses, Fear and the Brave work of Being Yourself.
Reflect with the following journal prompts
When you successfully earn the approval of the people you are stressing over, how long does that satisfaction usually last? What does it require you to do next to keep it? Allow yourself to remember that God already deeply approves of you and you need do nothing more to earn His love or approval.
If you were to fully drop the mask of pretending to be someone you are not and live strictly for God’s smile, what is the absolute worst-case scenario you feel would happen with these people? Bring that fear into the light and write it down. Then read and write down scripture alongside it, such as Proverbs 19:25 or Luke 5, that will remind you where your true safety and home lie.
Keep the conversation going: Join us inside Blessed Timber, Christian Women Choosing Purpose and Growth; our private Facebook group where we share our reflections, support each other's journeys, and talk more about what it means to show up authentically.
A Prayer for when you want to find peace in the midst of being misunderstood
Heavenly Father,
Search my heart and know me.
Help me to see who You created me to be.
When I seek the approval of friends, family, or society to feel loved, seen, and wanted, remind me that I am already loved, fully seen, and truly wanted by You.
My life is Yours, Lord. I humble myself to You.
The drama, hurt, and pain that is present when I am trying to win the approval of people who I tell myself I need, is stealing my peace and pulling me away from You and living my purpose.
You know me.
You know my heart.
In Your precious name I pray, Amen.
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